Windows Rolled Down

nothing can explain 
why i would rather sit for three hours,
doing nothing but listening to music—
trying to make a connection 
between words in songs 
and the pain inside my body—
than go do something with myself.

you've been on my mind 
a lot these past few weeks,
even though we have not been,
in the same place,
on the same page,
at the same time
for a few years.

i still remember all the things we would do:
our daily routine, 
all the inside jokes,
all the stupid late nights 
and cups of coffee,
and sitting on your kitchen floor.

it's hard to believe 
we were ever the same person.
you've gone one way, continued to change,
while i've moved 
hundreds of miles away
but have stayed 
the same.

i'm sorry.

sorry.

i'd like to drive, 
drive around,
windows rolled down. 

i'd like to drive around, 
drive around,
shouting the words 
to our favorite songs—
but it's been too long.